Stolen Homework
by Lanzer
Summary: Odd things keep happening to students who copy others homework. Albus Dumbledore finds it has something to do with Minerva McGonagall. ADMM


**STOLEN HOMEWORK**

Challenge from Lies (Nerweniel):

Write a fic about Minerva hexing/punishing/yelling at students who copy homework, either her homework (student!Minerva) or that of someone else (teacher!Minerva), and make her have to go explain her actions to Headmaster/Transfiguration Teacher Dumbledore.

Spell:

membrana -ae f. a thin skin , film, membrane; prepared skin, parchment

convicium -i n. a loud cry , shout, clamor; esp. abuse, reproach, insult; hence, in gen., censure, reproof

A/N!!!

I felt a bit guilty leaving Lost on hold so I've written a response to a challenge Lies posted.

I'm sorry if the spell isn't quit correct and also if there are mistakes in this story.

Anyway, Enjoy.

Disclaimer: All characters except Gary Beavus belong to J.K Rowling.

"Membrana Convicium." A voice whispered from behind a bookcase. Minerva McGonagall flicked her wand in a short pattern before pointing it in the direction of Ronald Weasley. Who, at that particular moment, was leaning over Hermione Granger's shoulder, copying her homework.

Minerva quickly crouched behind the bookcase again pressing her back to it hoping not to be spotted. Everything was silent for a moment before a high pitched yell pierced it. She smiled to herself as a small squeaky voice began to sing:

_Cheeky cheater, homework stealer_

_Stolen homework for the teacher_

_Liar, liar, pants on fire_

_Consequences shall be dire!_

Minerva peeked around the corner again to watch as the piece of parchment Ron had been writing on began to dance on his head, singing the song louder and louder.

"Um…Professor McGonagall?"

Swinging her head back to her right, she found a rather surprised looking first year.

"Professor…are you…alright? What are you doing down there?"

Minerva racked her mind for some sort of explanation as to why she was crouched behind a bookcase in the library.

"I…you see…that is to say…uh…"

"Professor?"

"I'm checking the carpet for fleas! Now stop asking such stupid questions and go do something…productive!" She snapped at the frightened first year before turning back to the commotion in the centre of the library. The piece of parchment had now attached itself to the back of Ronald's robes and had 'Kick Me, I'm a Cheater' written on it in bold red ink. With a satisfied smirk, Minerva stood and left the library.

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Later that evening, Albus Dumbledore was called to the hospital wing along with Filius Flitwick to investigate a rather odd prank of some sort. Upon entering Albus couldn't stop himself from giving a snort of laughter as the sight Madame Pomfrey, with foot braced against a bed post, desperately tried to rip a piece of parchment from the back of Ronald Weasley's robes.

"Poppy?" Albus ventured, forcing a neutral look back onto his face.

Madame Pomfrey gave a sigh of defeat and released the parchment and let Albus and Filius take over. After about half an hour they finally succeeded in convincing the parchment Ron would never try to copy again.

As Albus left the hospital wing he began to ponder who would possibly do this sort of thing.

He turned a corner into another corridor and stopped immediately. There crouched with her back against the wall and peering around the door frame into the study hall, was Minerva.

He watched as she pulled out her wand, aimed at someone in the hall, and muttered a spell.

"Membrana Convicium."

A yell echoed from inside the hall and Minerva got up and began to back away from the hall backwards. She kept backing away from the hall and closer to Albus, who now had a small smile playing on his lips.

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Minerva backed away slowly, keeping her eyes focused at the door, just in case someone came out. When she thought she was far enough she spun and began to make a run for it. Only to be stopped in mid stride by something solid. She began to fall backwards but a pair of strong hands stopped her. Minerva looked up at cringed.

"Albus! Long time, no see..."

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"So would you like to explain?"

Albus sat in his comfy chair behind his desk and stared over his half moon spectacles at the witch sitting in front of him.

"I'd rather not, Albus."

"Why not?"

"Well…It's rather silly."

Albus only raised his eyebrows.

"You'll laugh."

At this Albus leaned forward and smiled.

"Well then it can't be that bad can it?"

He watched as Minerva blushed lightly and looked away.

"It's silly."

Albus got up, walked around his desk and sat by her. Minerva sighed deeply.

"Alright, I'll tell you. BUT! If you laugh I'm leaving." She said. Albus nodded.

"Well do you remember in my fourth year when we had that little essay writing competition? And if we won we got 10 Galleons worth of sweets from Honey dukes? Do you remember who won?" She asked looking at him. Albus frowned for a moment, thinking back and trying to remember.

"Ah yes, it was little Gary Beavus wasn't it?" Minerva snorted and glared at nothing in particular.

"Yes it was. But he shouldn't have won it." Albus frowned again.

"Why on earth not?"

"BECAUSE HE COPIED MY ESSAY, THAT'S WHY!"

"He copied your essay?"

"YES!"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because he would have said I was cheating."

Albus was silent for a moment, desperately trying not to laugh under her deadly glare.

"So this…hexing the student thing, is it some sort of revenge?"

"Yes."

Albus couldn't stop himself, he burst out with laughter. Minerva gave him a death glare, stood, and turned to leave. Albus reached for her arm and pulled her back.

"Will you stop hexing the students if I buy you some candy?" he asked once his laughter had died down.

"Perhaps…"

"Well that's good…"

They sat in silence for a moment or two before Albus requested to see the hex.

Minerva performed the spell on a piece of parchment that lay on his desk and soon enough it began to sing.

_Cheeky cheater, homework stealer_

_Stolen homework for the teacher_

_Liar, liar, pants on fire_

_Consequences shall be dire!_

Albus began to laugh once again and this time rather embarrassed Minerva joined in. Eventually both were leaning against each other, laughing with tears in their eyes. When they performed the counter spell, the parchment rolled itself up and off the desk onto the floor.

"I'll get it." They said simultaneously and both reached down to get it. Mid way down their heads bumped together, causing them both to look up. Realising their faces were barely centimetres apart, Minerva made to pull away but Albus clasped her face in his hands brought their lips together for a quick kiss. And then another. And another.

It is safe to say that Hogwarts students never found themselves jinxed by Minerva McGonagall ever again because of Albus' bribery. It's also safe to say he didn't bribe her with candy.

Read and reveiw! :):):):):):)


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